Reflections on the Reiner’s Murders: Mental Illnes and Addiction
By: Gary J. Maier MD
January 14, 2026
I did not know the Reiners personally. Instead like most I formed a relationship with their media personas. So I identified with Meathead in “All in the Family” and the adolescent boys in “Stand By Me” and I amused myself when for fun I ordered what she is having “When Harry Met Sally” on and on. I liked Rob and his activism especially as an advocate for gay marriage. For me their recent murders seem impossible to reconcile with any sense of justice. Nevertheless I have felt a need to try to understand it. While there will be a lot more to the story there is enough to begin to sort out aspects of the family pathology and begin the greiving process. Something went wrong.
According to Hey Google in 2009 Nick Reiner age 16, was given a diagnosis of mental illness later clarified as schizophrenia. The first modern label for the diagnosis of schizophrenia was dementia praecox, the loss of mind that onsets at puberty which can impede the development of the self. Then drug use with mind-altering drugs that interfer with neurotransmission may also interfer with the formation of the self. Drugs alternately can cause the self to deteriorate so that the sense of being a separate self, the self-concept formally called the ego, stiffles the growth of self-esteem. The self must form before it can develop esteem. Otherwise something can go wrong.
Mothers cannot endow their children with self-esteem. Self-esteem here defined as a strong sense of being a separate self, arises from self accomplishment. Learning to tie ones shoes, ride a bike and spell the word “the” are all small steps that lay the foundation of self-confidence that can grow into a strong self-concept with growing self-esteem. This foundation is important since the self-concept must adjust to the hormonal shake up at puberty. Now if the foundation is weak or there is a genetic predispostion for the self to dissolve under the pressure of a flood of hormones at puberty with illnesses like schizophrena, this foundation can be permanently altered. Alternately should a functional self-concept form and then be flooded by “street drugs” the self-concept that is co-evolving with a healthy sense of self-esteem can deteriorate. Something will go wrong.
To continue email garymaier2014@gmail.com